Match the tool to the state.
The steps
- Name it exactly "I feel shame about this specific thing."
- Reduce exposure. One trusted person, not public processing.
- Separate the behaviour from the person "I did something I regret. That is not the same as being fundamentally broken."
- Apply self-compassion. This is a human experience, not a unique deficiency. What would you say to a close friend in this situation?
- Name one concrete repair action. Shame that has a path forward loses its hold.
- Close the Loop. Acknowledgement is itself a form of repair.
Where it comes from
- Session 15 — the full handout
- Session 15 — Shutdown, Panic, Anger, Grief, and Shame
Prefer it one step at a time? The same protocol as a guided runner in the app, which also keeps a private record if you want one.
This is one of the tools a seventeen-session series teaches, ninety minutes at a time, in a room of six to twelve people. It is peer-facilitated and free to host.
Check what stayed 3 questions
Answer in your own words, out loud or on paper. Nothing is scored, nothing is marked, and nothing is stored — this is for noticing what you have, not for anybody to grade.
What urge tells you this is the state you are in?
What the material says
The urge to hide, withdraw, or conceal.
Shame pulls toward either hiding completely or telling everybody. What does the protocol ask for instead?
What the material says
One trusted person, not public processing.
What does the protocol ask you to name, and what does it do to shame?
What the material says
Name one concrete repair action. Shame that has a path forward loses its hold.