Move first. Speak second.
Use it when
- You are about to say the thing you will have to apologise for
- You are rehearsing the argument and it gets louder each time round
- Your body wants to move and you are sitting still
- You are certain you are right, and that is not the question right now
The steps
- Move immediately. Walk fast, push-ups, grip something hard.
- Say less, not more. Every word spoken at peak anger costs repair time.
- Set a delay — "I will respond in twenty minutes."
- Cold water — on face or wrists after movement. ⚠ Check with a clinician first if you have a heart condition, an arrhythmia, disordered eating now or in the past, or take medication affecting heart rhythm.
- Name what was activated — not who caused it — "I felt threatened when…"
- Return for repair when regulated (Session 9).
What to expect
The anger may not be gone in twenty minutes. The peak passes without fuel in about ninety seconds. Anything you have not said yet is still available to say later.
If this isn't the one
- You are regulated and the conversation still has to happen → The Conflict Protocol
- You said something that needs repairing → The Nexus and Repair Protocol
- Underneath it is shame → Shame Protocol
Where it comes from
- Session 15 — the full handout
- Session 15 — Shutdown, Panic, Anger, Grief, and Shame
- Supported
Prefer it one step at a time? The same protocol as a guided runner in the app, which also keeps a private record if you want one.
This is one of the tools a seventeen-session series teaches, ninety minutes at a time, in a room of six to twelve people. It is peer-facilitated, free to host, and every handout and worksheet it uses is free to take.
Where this one comes from
You have just run one protocol. Behind it is one idea: everything you do is paid for out of a single account, and almost nothing is charged at the moment you do it — which is why the fifth repetition is worse than five times the first, and why a bad night does not present its bill until the following afternoon. Shoulder the Bill is that argument as one continuous read, written out of a workplace injury and the four years afterwards. The manual is the one you open at a page. The Workbook is the one you write in.
three books, one system →Check what stayed 3 questions
Answer in your own words, out loud or on paper. Nothing is scored, nothing is marked, and nothing is stored — this is for noticing what you have, not for anybody to grade.
What makes anger the state this protocol is for, in terms of what words cost?
What the material says
Anger escalating, and every word now costs repair time later.
After moving, what is the instruction about speech?
When do you go back to the person, and what for?